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Are you struggling with emotional affair recovery? Does your wayward spouse need to know how to end emotional affair?
If your trust has been shattered by emotional infidelity, you?re probably wondering how your spouse can ever earn it back?
This article is specifically about the actions that the wayward wife needs to take in order to completely sever the extramarital relationship and undeniably show you, the faithful husband, that you?re her first priority.
How to End Your Wife?s Emotional Affair in 6 Steps
None of these steps are optional. If your unfaithful wife cannot do these things for you, then something is wrong and emotional affair recovery is out of the picture.
At the same time, if you really want your marriage to move forward then you need a threshold over which you say ?okay, I believe you and I love you, let?s move on?. In other words, your wife needs to prove to you that she?s done with the emotional affair, but you also need to know how to forgive an emotional affair.
Are we on the same page? Remember, these steps are for your wife, not for you.
Great! Let?s get started:
Step 1. She Must Accept Responsibility, Even if Marriage Wasn?t Perfect
The most common excuse for an emotional affair is ?you never pay attention to me?. Conversely, the most common reason that women give for falling in love with another man is ?he paid attention to me and he ?gets? me?.
However, an unhealthy marriage is NOT an excuse to cheat. Furthermore, an emotional affair will CREATE distance in your marriage.
In other words, it?s no coincidence that your spouse suddenly seem inattentive when there is another man being very attentive. It is literally impossible to have a healthy marriage while one spouse is in love with someone else.
If your marriage was so bad that your wife felt completely unloved and rejected, that is not a problem to solve through an affair. Instead, as with any problems in marriage, you bring it out into the open and address it for what it really is.
Your wife must admit that she was having an emotional affair, she must accept responsibility for it, and she should show remorse for what she?s done to you.
Step 2. Sever the Relationship? Period
Once your wife has taken responsibility for her infidelity, the next step to end an emotional affair is a complete severance of the extramarital relationship.
It doesn?t matter if it?s an old high school friend she?s had for 20 years that only recently turned into something more, or a coworker that she?s only known for six months? The relationship is over.
Period.
If your wife is unwilling to let go of the relationship, or if she wants to remain friends with the other man, then that is an unacceptable problem. If a ?friend? is more important than recovering your marriage, then what is that supposed to tell you as the husband? It means she doesn?t really want to end the emotional affair.
Your wife must be willing to sever the relationship completely if she is serious about ending the emotional affair. The next 2 steps will address how to do that.
Step 3. The No Contact Letter
A No Contact Letter is exactly what it sounds like? A hand written statement (important!) from your wife to the other man that the relationship is over.
This letter shouldn?t be emotionally charged. It is a simple, firm statement that the relationship is over, that it will not begin again, that it has had an adverse effect on her relationship with you, and that her marriage is now her top priority.
This step is very important both for you and for your wife. It should give you peace of mind that your wife is willing to do this, and it gives your wife the peace of mind and security that comes with letting go. Ideally, the No Contact Letter is the nail in the coffin of the emotional affair.
Step 4. Physically Get Away
Naturally, to permanently end an emotional affair, your wife needs to physically get away from the other man.
This could be as drastic as your whole family moving to the other side of town, or as simple as de-friending him on Facebook and deleting his number. It could mean that your wife needs to change positions at her job, or get a new job entirely. You might need to find a different church or a different group of friends.
It doesn?t matter; she MUST cut him out of her life completely. Whatever it takes is consequence of the emotional affair.
There are two reasons that this is so important: One, it will be very difficult for her to get over the emotional affair if she continues to be exposed to him, and two, it will be nigh impossible for you to rebuild trust with your wife when you know she?s still occasionally spending time with him.
Step 5. Accept Transparency (and Don?t Lie About it)
Your wife needs to accept that you will require full transparency for the next few weeks to the next few months.
This means a few things. You need to be able to?
- Access her e-mail account
- Access her Facebook account
- Read through her text messages
- Listen in on phone conversations
- Monitor her whereabouts throughout the day
In situations where your wife has lied to you before, you may even require cell phone tracking to monitor her calls, text messages, and whereabouts. Or you might require computer key logging to monitor what she?s doing online and who she?s talking to.
Drastic? Yes.
Necessary? Yes.
Although not everybody needs to go to the full extent (i.e. cell phone and computer tracking).
Step 6. Consider Marriage Counseling (Optional)
It?s no secret that I do not like marriage counseling. Far too many couples rely on marriage counseling as the default medicine for marriage problems.
Let me be clear: marriage counseling is only a good idea when?
- Both spouses truly desire a better marriage, but have a singular problem that is difficult to resolve.
- There is infidelity involved and you need a safe-place to say exactly what?s on your mind and work through your trust issues.
- There are psychological problems inhibiting your marriage, such as bipolar disorder or anxiety. In this case, independent counseling is usually a better place to start.
So, if you are really struggling to get over the trust issues you have with your wife, marriage counseling may be a good place to address those. Independent counseling may also be helpful.
Congratulations! Next Comes Forgiveness?
If you?ve made it this far, go ahead and pat yourself on the back. If your wife has been willing to learn how to end an emotional affair with you, the future of your marriage looks very bright. It means that your wife is genuinely dedicated to renewing your marriage.
Even though learning how to forgive an emotional affair is difficult, I can tell you that every single couple that gets through it finds their marriage better than it?s ever been. That is, IF you can get through the emotional affair recovery.
So, look to the future! There is hope, and you can still find ultimate happiness in your marriage.
I highly recommend you read through the rest of Emotional Affairs 101, especially the article about how to forgive an emotional affair (linked above). Forgiveness and severance are the one-two punch that will save your marriage.
I sincerely hope that you have found this guide on how to end an emotional affair helpful.
With much manly love
Source: http://achot.co.cc/tips-crucial-steps-to-end-an-emotional-affair-for-good.html
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